Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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