I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
