Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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