Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize