I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize