yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
