I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Someone signed my nipple.
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