This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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