Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
