Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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