I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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