Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
