how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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