You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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