I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My feet surprised me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
