My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What a dumb baby whore.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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