I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
