it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
