how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
