My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
