i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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