i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
