Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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