If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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