Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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(314): View more from Missouri

The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(+61): View more from Australia

Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.

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(708): View more from Illinois

At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh my god I need an adult

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Wait shit I am an adult

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(703): View more from Virginia

Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'

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