I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
