sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
