Don't you send me to vm
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
