Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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