I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
