I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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