My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
