We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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