I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I see more hoeing in ur future
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