If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize