I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
