I wanna bring you to show and tell
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
