you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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