I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have fence marks all over my body
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
