So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
