did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
