Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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