Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The power of my boobs compel you
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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