I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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