So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize