There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
