we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She bit a glass in half.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
