i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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