I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
