and you said cock pushups were impossible
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
