oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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