I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
