My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
