Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
