We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
