What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i came on her dog
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
