WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
