Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
