my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
