Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
