I look better un-naked...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
