He passed out mid-signature
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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