who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
