i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize