Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Houston, we have a blender
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
