You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
